Find a place you trust

“T” free coloring book page, done on Arches Text Wove paper with watercolor. You can use colored pencil or crayons on any paper.

I am reconsidering this theme of finding a place you trust. This idea is needed more now, during the uncertainty and loss we all find ourselves in. Suddenly, as quick as lightning, a dear friend is gone.

Sister Corita’s first rule for her students was find a place you trust and try trusting it for awhile.

I cannot improve on this as a place to begin. When fear arises, as it does in the face of change and unpredictability, what do you do? Anxiety is a natural and universally human response, and can even be an aid to taking action. Yet we need to prevent anxiety from taking over. Everyone has gone through narrow passages, and the one we are in now is world wide. Everyone has the possibility of choosing courage over fear. With the courage it takes to traverse difficulty, something good inevitably comes. You muster the nerve to navigate the narrow passage, in spite of your fear and anxiety. Looking back at my life, I can see that when I was able to do this, coming through that door offered its own reward. Taking the risk to choose courage cultivates a trust in life, a resiliency that abides in the bigger picture, and the awareness of other forces at work.

This attitude translates to being a creator. Where does the courage to make the first mark come from? Where do you find comfort or confidence, or just the willingness to fall in? The universal sense of inadequacy that often accompanies the work of painting or writing, or any new endeavor, is an authentic and valuable place to begin. The best of what you have to offer to this world comes from this feeling of smallness. This sounds like a paradox, but trust in your own experience, however deficient you think it is, is fundamental to play, to creativity, and breaking through.

It sounds uncomplicated, but requires something of you. Staying busy or pushing through often seems easier than pausing, turning inward and listening. The place to trust is inside you. Creating a sacred space, what Joseph Campbell called "temenos," supports finding that region inside you, and a place to begin. You need a room or a table or a corner to work in that is uninterrupted, where no one can find you. Everyone has a way of making a place special – with a candle, incense, a clear glass of water, flowers or music. The place itself accumulates a feeling of protection and presences. It reminds me of that saying: 

                            “I have found that you have only to take that one step toward the gods, and
they will then take ten steps toward you.”               — Joseph Campbell

You don’t need to spend a long time in your sacred space, just some time, even five minutes, each day. Find a daily ritual that pleases you. Mary Dennis Kannapell, an artist who lives down the road, begins each morning with a brush mark on her Buddha Board. The mark disappears within a few minutes. Both of these images below contain essence of Mary. One is in stone, and one is made of water, and will vanish before your eyes. What a beautiful way to honor presence and absence, life and death, and our yearning to find the connection between the two. Heaven and earth. I am thinking of all the dear ones we have lost; their absence and continued sense of presence.

Vessel (left) : Guardian in our garden Daily brush practice (right) — Mary Dennis Kannapell

There is inherent in the statement — find a place you trust and try trusting it for awhile — an underlying yes, an acceptance of what is, and a place from which to begin. Imagine that whoever you are is just right for this moment. This is essential to getting you through, to not giving in to the dark shouters in your mind: not good enough, too old, lack of ability, no talent, uselessness, etc. These voices are not vanquished with time or experience, but you learn how to navigate negativity and fear through practice, listening and acceptance. When seen this way, all states of mind are fuel for your work. And your work, your hands, become a vehicle for stilling anxiety and finding trust.

Joseph Campbell made a similar claim when he said: make a commitment to show up on a regular basis in your sacred space, and trust that even though nothing happens at first, or even after a long while – eventually something happens. If you want to change the shape of your life, and have what you are doing be more of what you are here to do, have a daily contemplative practice, and show up in your sacred space each day.

For this reason, I return to contemplation, reflection, meditation and prayer as being the ground for makers. This is where the place to trust resides. A meditative practice is fundamental to the understanding that you are not just making “things,” rather, you cultivate a sense of wonder at the Great Mystery behind all things.

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“We don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future.”— Howard Zinn

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"It is not what we do, but how we do it." — Stephen Nachmanovitch