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There is a God. All is well. There is justice in the world.
I know this (along with a landslide of other hyperbolic optimistic cliches) because of three words: Patricia’s. Big. Closet.
You won’t believe me when I tell you about it, and honestly, I am half-inclined to keep this secret to myself. But my excitement over this recent discovery — a magnitude of excitement that propels my innate big-mouthedness — outweighs my selfish greed.
But barely.
OK. (Breathing and collecting myself.) Imagine a world where 22 of the richest and best-dressed women in the state gave you their barely (or often not at all) used high-end clothes and accessories for super cheap. Like Ross and Marshall’s cheap. Except way better designers and more in-vogue styles, and minus the screaming children in the store and did I mention floor-to-ceiling Coach and Prada shoes for $25? Did I mention three showrooms packed with more than 2,000 items to choose from? Designer jeans for $35. Dresses for $45. Coats for $45.
OK.
Imagine if you happened to know a former TV personality, and she invited you into her stunning home in the Boulder mountains, and she cranked up fun music and helped you pick out the most flattering outfits — for free. With no obligation. No catch.
Imagine this hypothetical woman would spend hours with you at no cost, just to personally teach you all of the style tricks professional stylists taught her over the years. Because, she says, she wants every woman to have the chance to feel beautiful, whether she is wealthy and famous or fighting to make ends meet in this economy.
And imagine this woman collected in her very house all of the previously mentioned 22 rich women’s unwanted designer clothes, and she would let you have them for those previously mentioned prices?
OK.
(Yes, this fashion fantasy gets better.)
Imagine if this woman also created her own cosmetics and skin-care line that is safe, natural and affordable, based on ancient Egyptian beauty secrets, like using moringa oil (but, of course, not the mercury that was so popular back then). And unlike too many other natural beauty lines, imagine, if you possibly can, that this make-up line contained a killer bright red lipstick that rivals Mac’s Russian Red, minus all of the yucky ingredients that are probably going to kill us all some day. Natural. But not au naturel.
If you aren’t twitching with me by now, you’re either one of the 250 of Patricia Belanger current clients (all by word-of-mouth — no advertising), or you’re one of those 22 rich women who already have access to everything glamorous that God, Prada and Cleopatria have ever made.
OK.
Yes, one more.
Imagine if this mythical she-god decided, hey, I think I’m gonna throw a party for about 350 women. And share more beauty secrets, free food and make over 10 every-day women right there. On Oct. 14 at 7 p.m. at the Event Center at Church Ranch in Westminster. And tickets would be $25, which would include a $25 gift certificate to her big closet (i.e. a pair of designer shoes), so basically tickets are free with the purchase of designer shoes, or come with a free pair of designer shoes, however you look at it.
Start the EKGs. This actually exists, right here in Boulder.
I checked it out for myself. It is real. It is really that good, too.
Belanger, who was a producer and host for a live lifestyle TV show in Canada called “Everyday,” similar to “The View,” says her business venture started on accident. She lost 40 pounds and had tons of high-end clothes she no longer wanted. A friend interested in taking the clothes let Belanger dress her, and said that she had never felt more beautiful. She said it changed her life.
Belanger says she began collecting unneeded clothes from other women she knew and now she has more than she can even get rid of.
“It’s about pooling resources; you don’t need all of this,” she says. “And it’s all about helping women, changing women’s lives. If I wanted to be making money, I’d be charging for my time.”
Belanger says her motivation is the “law of integrity.”
“I don’t care if you spend $10 or $300, I will treat you the same,” she says.
So, you see, no matter how badly I wanted to keep this secret to myself, I just couldn’t. Not with all this talk about integrity and equality and sharing. But keep your hands off the size 6 black Calvin Klein boots. They’re mine. Mine!
That aside, wouldn’t you agree? Yes, yes, there is some justice in the world.
For more info on Patricia’s Big Closet and the Oct. 14 event called “Makeover Magic,” check out patriciasbigcloset.com. Buy tickets online at brownpapertickets.com/event/192886.
